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When Refrigerators Attack
Scene 1 – My new kitchen, middle of the work day on Thursday: Me (humming the Flight of the Bumblebees and wondering how THAT became my theme song): “Man, I am THIRSTY. I should grab a nice, tasty...
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Princess Peachy Poo
We’d been tasked, The Guy (at the time) On My Couch and I with wrangling the children outdoors because the window guy was indoors, ripping out our old drafty windows and installing brand-spankin’ new...
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Parent of the Year Strikes Again!
Scene: My Living Room, Saturday Afternoon Me: (mumbles to self while setting up Christmas tree) Alex: (perplexed) “Hey… Mama?” Me: (pulling head from underneath spiky needles of doom, expecting the...
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2012: A Space Oddity
Once a year, every year since dinosaurs typed out blog posts with their wee flailing dinosaur hands on their gigantic Stone Age laptops, I do a Meme. Generally speaking, I do not like Memes. I do not...
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Providence, Part Deux*
I don’t get the impression, Pranksters, that a lot of us hold much stock in the idea of Providence (always with a capitol “P”) because, well, we’re a little bit jaded. It’s hard to see a world in which...
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TICKle Me Alex
“We live in the park!” is the brightly canned response I give my kids whenever they’re stuck staring at a mountain of gleaming green goose poo or shrieking about spiders daring to breathe in their...
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Mother Thinks The Birds Are After Her
Despite my almost encyclopedic knowledge of Britney Spears* it comes as a shock to tell you, Pranksters, that my brain banks hold no information about birds. I take that back. This is what I know about...
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Panic! At the Pool!
Part I After wandering through the endless labyrinth of badly-carpeted halls while lugging the absolute most amount of crap I’ve ever packed for a trip, finally, we reached our room. The kids, by this...
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Things Unsaid Today
“I was so happy to see your Mom at Alex’s concert the other day. Saw she’s using a cane now, so’s mine. She’s been falling a lot – I’ve had to go over and help her off the floor more times than I care...
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Twi Hard
Yesterday at 1:14 Me: “You know what I don’t get? TWILIGHT.” Lauren: “Oh Em Eff Ge I LOVE those books.” Me: “How can you read them? Stephanie Meyer can’t write herself out of a paper bag?” Lauren: “I...
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